he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
This toilet bowl is my home.
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