This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
