i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
