I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
