At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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