My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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