she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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