what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
