he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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