got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
