I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
