You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize