Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
