your room smells of hookers.
And success
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
