You're a womanizer and a bitch.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
