so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize