UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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