The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
