the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
