The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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