Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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