I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
