i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
