The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
