NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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