Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
