he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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