summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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