Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
