I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize