Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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