Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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