the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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