I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Houston, we have a squirter
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
