Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
