you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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