tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
