Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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