Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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