Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
