well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
