rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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