Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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