I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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