I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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