just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
