Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
