I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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