Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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