some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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