I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
