hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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