She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
