Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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