Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize