I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize