i would punch a child for taco bell
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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