Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
