I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
