Your tits are I can't wait for
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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