he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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