Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
