Taylor Swift is so right about you.
there's paper in my vomit.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
