The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
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I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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