Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
